If you need a joke for Halloween, look no further. We have compiled 31 funny(ish) jokes for your tricks and treats.

1. What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?    Do-you-think-he-saurus?
2. What do ghosts with poor eyesight wear?       Spooktacles.
3. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?     A rookie.
4. What do you call two ducks and a cow?     Quackers and milk.
5. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?     Sofishticated.
6. What do you call a factory that makes OK products?   A satisfactory.
7. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?     SUPPLIES!
8. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?   Because if they flew over the bay they’d be bagels.
9. What has more letters than the alphabet?   The post office.
10. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.
11. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?   A meltdown.
12. What does a bee use to brush his hair?   A honeycomb.
13. I was going to tell a time- traveling joke but you guys didn’t like it.
14. What do clouds wear?   Thunderwear.
15. What did one computer browser say to another?   Would you like a cookie?
16. Why didn’t anyone want to go trick or treating with Dracula?   Because he’s a pain in the neck.
17. Where does Dracula keep his money?   At the blood bank.
18. What do you call an angry carrot?   A steamed vegetable!
19. Why do cows wear bells?   Their horns don’t work.
20. What do lawyers wear to court?   Lawsuits!
21. What’s brown and sticky?   A stick!
22. What do you call a sad cup of coffee?   Depresso
23. What goes up and down but doesn’t move?   Stairs.
24. What do you call a hippie’s wife?   Mississippi
25. Why did the smartphone have to wear glasses?   It lost all of its contacts.
26. Where is the eye located?   Between the H and J.
27. What do you call a duck that gets straight A’s?   A wise quacker.
28. How do baby cats learn to swim?   In the kitty pool.
29. Why don’t elephants chew gum?   They do. Just not in public.
30. What did the banana say to the dog?   Nothing - bananas can’t talk!
31. What does an evil hen lay?   Deviled eggs!

Have fun out there and be safe! Remember not to wear masks that inhibit clear vision and be careful with makeup and glitter around the eyes. Also be sure to bring a flashlight so you can see any obstacles or tree branches that could cause injury.

Happy Halloween from all of us at Koetting Eye Center!