It's that time again- Fall is in the air at last so let the festivities commence! Here are 31 Halloween jokes to get you in the mood for some spooky fun!
They'll make you "howl" with laughter!
1. What kind of treats do eye doctors give out at Halloween?
Candy Corneas!
2. Why don't they play music in Seleton Church?
They don't have organs!
3. What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts?
I don't know but it's not working!
4. How do you get a werewolf to stop chasing you?
Throw a stick and say "fetch".
5. How does a scarecrow drink his juice?
With a straw!
6. What kind of bread do zombies like best
Whole brain!
7. Why don't mummies take time off?
They're afraid to unwind!
8. Why don't people like Dracula?
He's a pain in the neck!
9. Why are spiders great baseball players?
They know how to catch flies!
10. Why don't ghosts shower?
It dampens their spirits.
11. Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them.
12. What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog!
13. Why doesn't Frankenstein dance?
He's got two left feet!
14. How do bats know how to fly?
They just wing it!
15. Why do witches like hotels?
They love to get broom service!
16. Why did the cyclops quit teaching?
He only had one pupil!
17. Did you hear about the black cat who ate a lemon?
What a sourpuss!
18. Did you hear about the invisible man who went to the doctor?
He's still waiting to be seen!
19. Why shouldn't you date a mummy?
They're too wrapped up in themselves!
20. What do ghosts wear if they can't see?
Spooktacles!
21. How do pumpkins get paid?
With pumpkin bread!
22. Why don't zombies eat clowns?
They taste funny!
23. How do you know when a vampire is sick?
He's coffin!
24. Why do demons and ghosts hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
25. What kind of skin treatment do ghosts use?
Vanishing cream!
26. Why are vampires bad at art?
They only draw blood!
27. What do you say when you see a witch and a warlock kissing?
Get a broom!
28. What do you call a witch with a rash?
Itchy witchy!
29. What was the chicken ghost's name?
Poultrygeist!
30. Why didn't the scarecrow eat dinner?
He was already stuffed!
31. Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers seperately!
From all of us at Koetting Eye Center, we wish you a very (not too scary) Happy Halloween!
It’s been a very long day and you’re exhausted. Work was tough, the kids didn’t want to go to sleep, you have a lot to do tomorrow. You look longingly at the bed, and think about how good it will feel to sink down into the pillows and pull the cool sheets over you… how bad could it be to sleep in your makeup?
Well, it’s certainly not the end of the world, and there are worse things you can do, but if you get in the habit of sleeping in your makeup you open yourself up to many problems that can be easily avoided with a simple cleansing routine.
Eye Irritation – Makeup particles can rub off onto your pillowcase and get into your eyes, causing irritation, itchiness and infection. Wearing makeup overnight can also clog and inflame the glands around your eyes leading to red, puffy eyes. In some cases, leaving mascara on can cause eyelid styes or cysts.
Acne - Sleeping with makeup on can prevent your skin from recovering and healing while you sleep, which can make acne worse.
Premature Aging – Leaving makeup on while you sleep can expose your skin to free radicals which can break down collagen and cause wrinkles.
Dry Skin – Sleeping with makeup on can irritate dry skin. For example, leaving lipstick on overnight can make your lips dry and discolored.
Clogged Pores – Sleeping in makeup can clog your pores, which can lead to breakouts and blackheads.
The Doctors at Koetting Eye Center recommend a simple cleansing routine at least once a day to help you look your very best and to alleviate harmful issues and irritated eyes and skin.
Epionce Gentle Foaming Cleanser is a one step cleanser which effectively removes dirt, oil, and makeup and will not leave skin tight, dry or stripped. Best of all, it’s hypoallergenic, made of natural ingredients and is safe to use on the eyelids and around the eyes. Epionce products are developed by a Dermatologist to be skin care you can trust. They are proven safe and effective and employ superior delivery systems which will penetrate the skin to achieve the best results and not just sit on the surface.
The key ingredients: Marsh Mallow Root Extract, Willow Bark Extract, Date Fruit Extract.
What’s not included: No animal testing- ever, no parabens, no artificial fragrance, no sulfate.
And it’s simple. Just apply 1-2 pumps to damp skin, rinse with warm water, and pat skin dry. You will feel so much better, and your eyes and skin will thank you for it. And now that that’s done, go ahead and apply some moisturizer- such as Epionce Renewal Facial Lotion – it only takes a few seconds and it feels amazing!
Koetting Eye Center has many Epionce skin care products available for purchase at our Ellisville location- including Epionce Gentle Foaming cleanser – it’s in stock and only $36.00 for a six ounce pump bottle. Stop by our Ellisville office today at 113 Old State Road and begin this amazing skin care regimen tonight!
We want to help you look and feel your best in the skin you’re in!
According to a recent survey, 84% of patents agree that regualr eye exams help their kids do their best in school, but nearly half wait until their child complains of vision issues before taking them to the eye doctor. The problem is that children may not realize when they are not seeing properly. To help catch vision problems early, getting a comprehensive eye exam is the best way to find any changes to their vision and eye health.
Like children themselves, children's eyes are always busy. Whether at school or play, their eyes are constantly in use. But if their eyes aren't working properly, a child's development, academic performance, and even sports participation can suffer.
Vision correction needs, eye alignment, and eye infections are common issues children face with their eyes. But it's not always easy to tell when a child is struggling with their vision. Here are some tips to help spot these three common eye issues and what you should watch for whether it be your child, grandchild, neice, nephew, student, or other important child in your life.
* Refractive Errors in Children
The most common vision disorders in children are refractive errors such as myopia (nearsightedness), hyperopia (farsightedness) and astigmatism. These errors occur when light is not focused on the retina and result in blurry vision.
Myopia, or nearsightedness, means objects close up may be easy to see, but far away objects may be blurry.
Hyperopia, or farsightedness is just the opposite. Objects far away may be clear, but close objects may be hard to see.
Astigmatism occurs when the cornea or lens is irregularly shaped, causing light to bend incorrectly as it enters the eye. Astigmatism can cause blurry vision at all distances and can be especially troublesome at night when lights reflect more.
Some signs a child might have a refractive error include:
- Squinting
- Holding materials close to their face or at arm's length
- Frequent headaches
- Rubbing their eyes
Thanksfully, most refractive errors can be corrected with prescription glasses or contacts. An eye doctor can identify these vision issues and determine the prescription needed.
* Eye Misalignment
In addition to vision correction needs, some children can also experience trouble with eye focusing, eye tracking, and eye coordination. These issues can impact a chi;d's academic performance and long- term vision.
Strabismus, or crossed eyes, occur when the eye(s) turns in or out, resulting in the eyes looking in different directions. The lack of coordination in the eyes impacts depth perception and may lead to the brain ignoring input from one eye in an effort to prevent double vision. Untreated, this can lead to permanent vision loss in the eye that the brain ignores.
Once diagnosed, eye doctors may utilize glasses or contacts, special lenses, vision therapy, and, in severe cases, surgery to correct strabismus.
Amblyopia, or lazy eye, is another impairment common in children. This occurs when the brain and the eye aren't working together correctly, with the brain favoring one eye over the other.
Some signs of stravismus and amblyopia include:
- Tilting the head to one side
- Covering an eye
- Trouble with reading comprehension
- Losing their place when reading
- Frequent headaches
- Complaining of tired eyes
- An eye turning in or out (strabismus)
* Eye Infections
Children are known for sharing germs- and that includes sharing eye infections. One fo the most common eye infections in children is Conjunctivitis- commonly known as Pink Eye.
Conjunctivitis, or pink eye refers to the irritiaion of the white part of the eye from an infection or allergen exposure. Pink eye causes red, irritated, and goopy eyes. A tell-tale sign of pink eye is waking up with your eyelids stuck together from the dried mucus produced by your eyes overnight.
Conjunctivitis caused by a bacteria or virus is very contagious, and children with pink eye should be kept home until it clears up. Allergic conjunctivitis is caused by exposure to allergens and it typically not considered contagious.
It can be difficult to know which type of pink eye a child has. An eye doctor can examine the eye and diagnose pink eye and provide treatment options.
Eye Care Starts Early
Regular eye exams starting young can help keep children's eyes healthy and ensure they see their best. Call our office today to schedule a back to school eye exam for your children because good vision and good grades go hand in hand!
Summer is here with all the summer activies and fun!
Hot lazy days spent snoozing by the pool, playing in the sprinkler or swimming in the lake followed by hamburgers on the grill and corn on the cob. So many good times to be had- you don't want to be sidelined by the dreaded pink eye!
This time of year, it's important be be careful out there and know the risks and how to avoid them.
Conjunctivitis - commonly known as pink eye - is an irritation or infection to the conjunctiva which is the white part of your eye. It can be bacterial, viral, chemical or even a reaction to allergens. Though the causes can vary, the symptoms are pretty much the same. Red, swollen, and irritated eyes, usually with a yellow discharge. It can be mildly uncomfortable or downright painful. You spend a wonderful day at the pool or tubing on the river and wake up the following morning with your eyes "glued" shut by the goopy discharge- not fun.
So, how can we avoid this?
Conjunctivitis is highly contagious and can spread like wildfire- especially among children or in families. It is often spread in swimming pools because the viruses and bacteria which cause conjunctivitis can easily survive in chlorinated water. These bacteria and viruses occur naturally in freshwater lakes and rivers, and can also be present in sprinkler and hose water. Additionally, chemical pink eye can occur from swimming in water that is too heavily chlorinated.
Here are some tips to help you avoid the dreaded pink and enjoy your summer:
To avoid passing along the infection, try not to rub your eyes. If you do need to rub them, wash hands thoroughly and often. Change pillowcases, and wash all washcloths and towels used during an infection. Throw away and replace any eye makeup used before or during an infection and never share eye makeup in general. This is never a good practice.
Wear goggles when swimming -especially in freshwater. And, after you swim, irrigate or rinse your eyes with a sterile eyewash solution or some artificial tear eyedrops such as Blink or Systane. Avoid using drops like Visine as these can increase irritation.
If you do find yourself suffering from symptoms such as:
*Red or bloodshot eyes
*Vision changes
*Yellow discharge
*Pain
*Light sensitivity
*Excessive tearing
give us a call at either our Brentwood (314-863-0000) or Ellisville (636-256-7800) office to schedule an appointment.
Conjunctivitis can be easily treated with prescription eye drops so you can get back to having fun in the sun!
Summer is upon us and we can look forward to long days having fun in the sun at the pool, the park or maybe the beach! As eyecare providers, we always take care to remind our patients to wear their sunglasses for optimal protection from damaging UV Rays, but we would be remiss if we failed to mention the importance of sunscreen- particularly around the eyes.
The periocular region (the eyelids and skin around the eyes) makes up only 1% of the body's surface area yet it accounts for between 5% and 10% of all skin cancers. It is believed that this is because most people do not apply sunscreen to their eyelids or wear adequate ocular sun protection (sunglasses). The skin around the eyes is uniquely thin- less than 0.2 mm thick- which puts it at high risk for photodamage. Sunscreen helps to protect the skin from damaging effects caused by UV light and other environmental hazzards. Therefore, it is vital to apply sunscreen around the eyes and eyelids to shield against skin cancers, skin discoloration, and premature aging of the delicate skin.
While many sunscreens on the market are safe to use on the eyelids and around the eyes, some preservatives or chemical ingredients can cause an intense stinging sensation. Avobenzone is one chemical that irritates when it comes into contact with your eyes. Although it won't lead to permanent damage, you may experience a chemical burn on the surface of your eye that can be quite painful for a few days.
Koetting Eye Center is proud to offer a new line of skincare products at our Ellisville location which are all- natural and safe for that delicate area around the eyes as well as the whole face. They are ideal for our patients with dry or sensitive eyes, and especially for those prone to irritation and rosacea flare-ups.
Epionce is a skin care line developed and produced by Dermatologist Carl Thornfeldt. It is evidence based skincare which is safe, simple, effective, and proven. It consists of natural products designed to help you look and feel your best in your own skin. All products are paraben, fragrance, sulfate, gluetn and cruelty-free.
Epionce is botanically based with no harsh ingredients that irritate the skin or cause unnecessary dryness.
We are pleased to announce that at our Ellisville office, we are now carrying a complete skincare line by Epionce with many amazing products.
Specifically (at Ellisville only) we have the Epionce Daily Shield Tinted SPF 50 available and in stock now.
Epionce Daily Shield Tinted SPF 50 is a broad spectrum sunscreen which has a sheer tint suitable for nearly all skin types and tones. It blends smoothly to enhance your skin's natural glow, and provides flawless coverage and protection for both men and women. It can be used alone or under makeup and is water resistant for up to 80 minutes. We recommend that it be applied daily as part of your morning routine, and reapply throughout the day after swimming or in case of excessive sweating. It should also be worn on cloudy days for optimal protection.
The list of ingredients is refreshingly short and natural:
Zinc Oxide 9.3%
Titanium Dioxide 4.8%
Sunflower extract, Rice Bran extract, Argan Oil
Stop by our Ellisville office to try some on- request a sample- or purchase today!
